Tahun baru 2019 adalah tahun baru pertama dalam beberapa tahun terakhir gue habiskan sendirian dan hanya nonton Netflix. Sedih? Iya, sedih. Tapi, lebih sedih lagi kalau harus keluar rumah saat jalanan protokol utama Sudirman ditutup dan tidak bisa balik ke ma chambre yang super petite.
Balik lagi, I actually could be anywhere. I could be crashing at my friend’s party, I could be at Mom’s, could be with friends dancing at one rando club but I did not. I was letting the Scorpio in me to shine. I was in quiet.
So, what’s on the table, really?
2018 taught me that people go, and when they come back, it is never be the same again #Drakemood. I lost two bestfriends – they might have their reason and it is fine.
2018 taught me to fix my thought process, of seeing what I want to achieve in life and staying focus on the bigger picture.
2018 taught me to cleanse my soul, to stop searching for answer and be one step bolder: Ask and Forgive.
2018 taught me the word “GRITH” that I often mistakenly read as “GRIT”. This too (the boredom) itself shall pass.
2018 taught me the darkness of consuming sleeping pills because of anxiety keeps piling.
2018 taught me to listen to my body more.
2018 taught me love and lost - I am talking about Somi, a dog that is used to be mine.
2018 taught me of what kind of man that I would want to end up with. If I am single now, or find my self alone on Saturday morning, man-less in my bed, yes that’s also my choice.
The point is, I learned a quarter half of me. It is like I reinvented me.
Enough B.S.
When people asked me in what age I wanted to be married - “ugh, 27?” This year, I am going to be 27. I am no close of having a partner, given that I am single now and good man doesn’t just fall down from sky.
Many acquintances are married, it is used to bother me but it is not anymore.
People have their own timeline. It is fine.
Peope changed job / career, okay, I will do too, just not today. I’ll find something for me.
I am chill because I know I work for it and good things come for those who put efforts.
In 2019, I wish I can learn another one third half of me (iya lah, butuh 25 tahun untuk beneran jadi ¼). I know, I will.
